That is the best comparission I can come up with for the feeling I had driving away from birmingham last night, my car packed like Spring Break 2004 minus a Brogan stuffed in the back somewhere...at times I could almost smell the peach schnapps that had busted in my back seat. But really. I was so numb, I could feel nothing but sadness and see nothing but the lines on the road, and occational pot hole on I65. It was like I was driving into a black hole. Do they have an end? I am not really knowledgable about black holes, but the picture in my head seems to fit my feelings well. I am ready for the end. The end to all this searching and figuring out crap. I am leaving all my emotions behind and starting this life over as a woman who is in it to win it. No more "I love you and will do whatever it takes to be with you" from me. From now on, that is what I deserve from someone else. No more careers that are paying the bills, I wanna be happy and know that this time, it is for me.
To add to all that, I want to get to a point that I can write happy go lucky, meaningless thing about whatever is on my mind... But for now I am consumed with the future and that is all I have to right about.
So, I am in the center of my black hole, about to go figure out my options for getting more education. That seems like the going trend these days so I guess I might as well :) but in all seriousness, I can't wait to see the end.
-Aar
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Deary me! If I am thinking correctly... black holes will spit you out somewhere so hold on tight and get ready to party woman. Let me know what its like when you see the other side.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is at this point, with this attitude, that, with perserverence, your life changes and other's usually do as well.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and good luck.
- Coach Cole